Paper Doll
by AnotherGirlWithAStory
Summary: Twenty-two girls in one. All of them powerful. All of the versions of Helga equally beautiful in its own way. All of them afraid of something. And as Rowena held the woman close to her body she hoped that maybe one day Helga would tell her what that was. But until then Rowena was going to keep loving her.


**Title** : Paper Doll

 **Pairing** : Helga x Rowena

 **Prompts** : Blue and Yellow

 **Word Count** : 2, 127

* * *

Helga was no by means a cruel woman. Quite the opposite actually. She was most of the time very kind, gentle and soft-spoken. But then there were times when she was rowdy, aggressive and loud. It took dedication – from a certain person – to get her there but it was not entirely impossible. Her red hair always hung loosely around her head and her green eyes sparkled with whatever emotion she was feeling at that time. She was a tiny woman but detested being told that she was. _Sometimes_. Other times she enjoyed being told how cute and small she was. Helga was – if nothing else – a person with a complicated personality with several strong traits that she used to her benefit.

Around the other professors, she was intelligent, calm and well-spoken.

Around her friends, she was loud and sometimes downright cruel. But no one took her seriously. _Helga did not even take herself seriously_.

Around the children, she was _childish_. She adjusted herself after them. With the younger children, she spoke about the beauty of magic. She showed them the good that could be done and she took her time to make sure that everyone understood what she was telling them. _No one was going to get left behind and everyone was equal_. Those were the words that guided Helga in her teaching. She was never cruel to the children. No matter what they did.

With Rowena, she was all of those things and nothing at all. Either she was there, by her side, teasing and flirting. Or she was nowhere to be seen. Helga could go from loving Rowena to not caring what she was doing. She was _flighty_ and she made Rowena's head spin from all the mixed signals.

Occasionally Rowena would get tired. And the next time Helga appeared outside her room in the middle of the night, with a mischievous smile that could only mean one thing, Rowena closed the door. But she could only do that a number of times before giving up and letting Helga in. And Helga knew it.

It annoyed Rowena to no end that she lacked control. Helga was like a poison to her. A poison that she kept wanting, _no craving_ , even if she knew how bad it was for her. Rowena did not want flighty, she did not want to continue this game of chase that Helga had pulled her into. She wanted stability. She wanted a relationship and she wanted it with Helga.

The school looked more beautiful than usual during the summer. Rowena thought as she walked out of the castle. Her black hair was pushed back and up in a way that kept her hair from clinging to her sweaty neck. Occasionally she would dry her sweaty forehead with the back of her hand but she was determined. The heat was not going to force her back inside the castle. She loved walking the grounds. There was nothing better than enjoying the warmth from the sun, listening to the birds sing and look at the blue skies above her. Every now and again a few yellow flowers grew on the grounds and she could not stop herself from smiling. While some people were bewitched by the exotic; Rowena loved the simple things.

"What are you doing, Miss?" Rowena stopped and looked around. Not finding the source of the question before someone else answered.

"I am just sitting here for a bit. What are you doing? Should you not be in class?" _Helga_ replied and without looking at her Rowena knew that she was smiling.

Rowena sat down on the ground and leaned back onto the palm of her hands while she listened. She did not have to look to know which boys it was. That voice she had heard could only belong to one person and if he was there then his partner in crime was not far away. Professors were not supposed to have favourite students. But Rowena knew – as did everyone else – that these boys had Helga wrapped around their little fingers. And who could blame her?

Thomas was a pale boy with blond messy curls and a defiant smile. He got in trouble every time he got the chance and was – unfortunately for him – like an open book. He was completely worthless at hiding his emotions and in the case of a prank well performed, his pride.

Peter was a black-haired boy with golden skin and dark eyes. He was never far behind Thomas. He was taller and not as skinny. If Thomas was a worthless actor, then Peter was quite the opposite. He never struggled with keeping his emotions hidden. He was almost scarily good.

The two boys found each other when they first began studying at Hogwarts and seemed to have permanently glued themselves to each other for the entire first year. Some teachers believed that would change for the second year but they had been wrong. It was as if they were the opposite ends of a magnet and were driven together by an inner power. Much to the dismay of the teachers. Well, all teachers except for Helga.

"We were kicked out, Miss. We were not paying attention."

"Boys, this is the second time this week." Helga stated sounding about as stern as she could with the kids. "How come you never pay attention in class?"

"We do pay attention, Miss."

"Yes, we do pay attention. When it matters; we do."

Helga scoffed. "And when is that boys?"

"When you teach, Miss." Peter replied without hesitation. "You are our favourite professor. We wish we could stay with you in school instead of going home."

Rowena felt her smile grow. She walked closer to the place where the conversation was taking place – careful not the be seen or heard – and leaned back against the wall.

Helga's hair was pushed back and she was seated on a bench with the two boys sitting on each side of her. A tiny shiver went through Helga's body and there was a strain on the smile that probably had not been there before. Her lips vibrated as her smile grew and she fondly ran her fingers through Peter's black hair.

"You are very sweet to tell me that, Peter." Helga said. She smiled at Thomas. _And I wish you could stay with me too_. Rowena knew those were the words she wanted to tell the two boys so bad. But she did not. Helga stayed quiet knowing it would be for the best. Even though she desperately wanted to take them with her. "But you need to pay more attention in class. I know that is not what you want to hear but I am only telling you because it is for your own good. You need to get good grades and then you can do whatever you want."

Helga was not easily affected. She could look at the world with such a cold logic that it sometimes scared Rowena. Even if she knew that Helga was only doing it to protect herself. But then there were moments when she was unable to ignore her emotions. The students and more specifically these boys were in most of those moments.

Helga noticed in their first year that they were skinny when they came to the school. They were loud, aggressive and rowdy. Maybe that is why they found each other. If given the opportunity they would cause absolute chaos. Then a few months went by and things settled. They gained weight and quieted down. They came back after Christmas, as rowdy as in the beginning of the year. But it became better. And then the same happened when they came back for their second year. The teachers knew that this was more than just two boys who enjoyed causing trouble. But Helga was the only one who did something about it. She was the only one who experienced physical pain when she saw them come back skinny with their arms covered in bruises. Helga put down an endless amount of time making sure that she was always there for them when they needed her. She did not want to send them away when Christmas came, nor at the end of the year, but sadly _she had to_.

"Why? It is not like anything will change." Thomas glanced down on the ground. Peter nodded.

Rowena saw the way Helga swallowed, the way she discretely dried her face with the palm of her hand. No one else did. And even if they did no one would understand what was going on.

"I promise you that things will change." Helga said nodding as she spoke. "You may feel like things will never get better. But I promise you that everything will be alright. Do you know why I know that?" Both boys shook their heads. "Because you two are remarkable. Because you can do anything and I will do everything I can to make sure that you get good grades and then good jobs that you love. I will do everything in my power and I will not rest until you are satisfied. Okay?"

"Thanks Miss." Peter replied and took Helga's hand.

Thomas leaned his head onto her shoulder. "Thanks Miss."

Helga's frame shook ever so slightly. "No need to thank me boys. What do you say, should we get back to class?"

Neither of the two boys answered but minutes afterwards they left the bench. Rowena smiled to herself. The image of Helga, Peter and Thomas would follow her for the remainder of the day. Just as the two boys would follow their teacher around whenever they could. In the beginning, Helga, did as she always did. She acted. She smiled. She laughed. But whenever she thought no one saw, her smile faltered and she closed her eyes for just a split of a second. Her energy was slowly wearing thin.

When she knocked on the door that night Rowena knew that she was not supposed to open the door. But she did.

Helga looked as if she were barely holding up her own weight. Her eyes were red from crying and she held her arms around her upper body as if she was afraid that she would fall apart if she did not. She smiled. "I am so sorry."

Rowena frowned. "What for?"

"I am sorry for being the way that I am. I am sorry for caring too much or too little, I am sorry for not being loud enough or for being too loud. I am sorry for being extreme. I never wanted to be like that." The words came out in a whisper as if Helga was afraid of her own words. As if she was afraid of showing the depth that rarely came out due to the fact that people had already pegged her as the sweet, childish woman. Afraid of admitting that she was much more than what they thought she was.

"You never have to apologise for that, my love." Rowena said with a smile as she took Helga's hands. "It is just who you are. You should never apologise for being yourself."

"I should when it hurt the people that I love." Helga replied sadly as she leaned against the stonewall. Rowena's eyes grew. "Oh, I never told you that, did I? I knew there was something I had forgotten. I love you, Rowena."

Rowena nodded. A smile appeared on her face. "Do you want to come in?" Helga nodded and took the hand Rowena stretched out for her.

Helga was like twenty-two scared girls in one. Rowena knew that. And there were traits that made Helga more beautiful than anything Rowena had ever seen. But there were also traits that made Helga into the worst person in the room if nothing else. Rowena knew that too. Helga was not as simple as people liked to view her. She was if nothing else highly complex.

When she had set her eyes on something there was nothing standing between Helga and her prize. Her determination was unlike anything Rowena had ever seen; it bordered on insanity.

She could never just love someone. When Helga loved someone, she did it with a burning passion and an intensity that could sometimes be scary. There was nothing she would not do to make sure that the people she loved was safe.

Twenty-two girls in one. All of them powerful. All of the versions of Helga equally beautiful in its own way. All of them afraid of _something_. And as Rowena held the woman close to her body she hoped that maybe one day Helga would tell her what that was. But until then Rowena was going to keep loving her.

 **The end**


End file.
